Women: The Ladder Theory

I'm going to impart to you some wise information that I've carried with me everywhere I go. I pass it along to most of my guy friends in times of trouble, or when I see them pursuing women they shouldn't be pursuing.

Now, my dear reader, I impart the same advice to you.

When it comes to women, it just so happens that ladders perfectly represent how they classify men in their lives (aside from relatives of course.)

Imagine two ladders leaning on an endless wall of brick. Between them lies a vast rocky abyss.

On the first ladder stands all the men who this particular woman knows, but is not attracted to. This ladder is commonly referred to as "The Friend Zone."

The "Friend Ladder" or "GUY-HELL" consists of every man she is not attracted to, whether physically or emotionally. At the bottom of the ladder are guys who are acquaintances. At the top of the ladder are her "besties" and/or her gay friends. All guys on this ladder are carefully sorted between these two extremes.

On the second ladder stands all the men who this particular woman knows, and IS attracted to. These are all her male prospects. They are men she can see herself dating and/or marrying and/or having intercourse with. Needless to say, this is where you want to be.

Keep in mind that you CANNOT be on both ladders. However, there is the smallest glimmer of hope for all you guys stranded in "The Friend Zone."

Depending on the woman and your particular relationship with her, it may be possible to jump from one ladder to the other. The only requirement is your position on that ladder.

If you're on the bottom and you try to make the leap, you'll end up in that vast dark abyss of awkwardness. BUT, if you happen to make the leap from the very top of the Friend Ladder, there is the smallest possibility that you can make it to the Prospects Ladder. However, you'll find yourself positioned on the bottom rung.

So there you have my personal "Ladder Theory."

Be sure to tell your friends, and as always, happy climbing.